Forgive me for any typos, it's late at night, and my cheap wit is the only thing I have at the hour (not really). Also, sorry for the upcoming word vomit ahead! Also, I edited three times for typos and to add in some questions.
Just finished playing the demo, and I gotta say, I really like the writing and the art! I think there were two or three typos, but the only thing I remember clearly is that one scene where Elvira and Seth are talking to Charlotte. The line is "Charlotte scoffs, mouthing something silently to herself that is no doubt an insult, but Seth's grin merely grow wider." One other line I particularly remember comes after the choice in the scene with Rosalind about what topic to talk about. If you chose to talk about August, I think she says, "...blah blah he thinks of Lydia as family." I'm pretty sure it was the line where she calls you out on your disguise. Wrong pronoun, little sister.
So! Characters! Personally, I liked all of them, including the side-characters. Rosalind caught my attention the most out of all the side-characters because clearly she isn't just an airhead. I just...really like her a lot.
Elvira was a fun main character. I love capable, strong female characters, so she got that down. I also love how her insensitivity and coldness can just get in the way sometimes and lead to somewhat amusing situations, and Seth has to kinda nudge her, like Elvira pls stop :V I found her design the cutest, and I love her outfits and hair-styles so far!
I'll be blunt and say that I preferred the male love interests at the beginning, especially Seth, because, well, I'm straight, but not gonna lie, I came out of the demo going like 'not enough Charlotte.' I just really liked that strong and confident aura of hers. I'm excited for her route the most, and I think she knew Elvira from when they were kids, and the latter was still in the orphanage; I might just be reading too much into their exchange, though.
The one I liked second best was August. What a dude. I'm interested in their relationship with Julius and Lydia was back in the past and before Lydia kicked the bucket. I also really liked how it's clear that August really cares about Rosalind. D'aww.
As for third best, that was Seth. It's clear this guy ain't exactly sane, which is why I'm really interested in him. The cheerful, jokester-ish aspect of him also isn't the only side of his personality. The moment his loyalty and kind-of-close relationship with his boss was shown (e.g. when Elvira mentioned that asking him about anything that involves the boss or disrespecting her pisses him off) I went, "...okay, how much do I want to deal with this guy when his route's probably gonna involve the boss a lot more?" Don't get me wrong, she's a great character, she just seems like a handful, haha.
The one I liked least (I still like him a lot, though) was Julius. I liked his sass, but maybe I'm completely reading this wrong, but I think he was in love with Lydia. Even if he wasn't, those two were still really close, so I'm kinda iffy on how his romance is going to go. If I'm (somehow) right and he was in love with Lydia, then for me, it'll be a bit awkward doing his route. Just a bit.
The only two characters that I really want to talk about are Lydia and Gertrude. For the latter, it's shown that she's a woman to be feared and respected. Couple of questions though: is she actually capable of fighting and doing missions, or is she more of a has-a-lot-of-connections kind of guy? How old is she? Is her hair styled that way because she actually doesn't have an eye, or is it for the edge? Also, what hair products does she use, because that hair is fabulous.
As for Lydia, from all the impressions I'm getting, she seemed to be a kind of girl that was really enjoying life in the best ways possible. She was shown (from others' perspectives) to be rather kindhearted, too. How much involvement does she have in her own death, though? As in, was she completely innocent, or did she get involved in something that she shouldn't have? And how honest was she to those around her? I'm pretty hyped up for the mystery myself.
Some additional questions: how long does the story in the game take? Does it span over a couple months/weeks? If so, how many? Or does it vary by route and choice? (If you're still confused on the wording, I just want to know how much time the routes/story spans over in-game, like a month, two months, half a year, etc.) Also, how old is everyone? Or at least, how old are the love interests?
None of the writing and dialogue felt awkward to me. It flowed rather well, and I find myself really liking the art, especially the backgrounds! They're beautiful, I tell you. I also liked the sprites a lot, especially some of Elvira's expressions, like this one lol:
She just looks so disgusted and disappointed, it's amazing. I'm excited for the release. Great job, and keep it up!